


Romcom Comedy

by susiephalange



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Female!Reader - Freeform, Fluff, Menstrual Pain, Menstruation, Romantic Comedy, Sick Fic, Sweet!Killian, What's Your Number - Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:22:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/susiephalange/pseuds/susiephalange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader has a particularly bad period. Killian Jones to the rescue!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Romcom Comedy

Killian Jones wasn't always a scumbag that made most people want to kick him in the shins hard enough to send him back to the Enchanted Forest. He'd been an honourable man once, and now, standing in the doorway to your two bedroom apartment opposite Granny's Diner, he was honourable once more. This time, his arms were full of useful treasures that were catering just for you - a block of chocolate, a tub of your favourite flavour ice cream, a selection of rom-com movies (at this point you didn't know that he'd had to ask Emma for advice on what to pick) and your favourite blanket that you'd left at his place.

Just the sight of him there with that smile on his face that could charm the sun to come out again in a rain storm was enough to make you cry, let alone the goodies he'd brought.

"I come bearing gifts, lass," he announced, closing the door being him deftly with a foot. "I got your text about how it was your, uh, time of the month, and I did the best I could."

You had been in pain since this morning when you'd found out your uterus had once again declared it time to shed its lining and make you tortured with enough pain to consider curling into a ball and leaving your pirate boyfriend to his own devices for three to seven days.

"You're a life saver," you nearly wept, and clutching your midsection you moved toward him to claim the tributes.

"Uh-uh, you're not touching any of this, ______," he stated, "Not until you're feeling comfortable on the couch. We're going to watch a movie or ten, and we're going to snuggle -,"

"I've never heard you say the word 'snuggle' before," You giggled, moving to the couch. As soon as you sat a wave of nausea and pain washed over you, leaving you reeling. Your periods weren't always this bad, but there was the occasional exception. "Ugh, did you happen to bring any painkillers? I didn't know I was all out until today. Figures. "

Killian grinned, turning back to you from the DVD player. He'd managed to get a grasp of modern technology pretty quickly, for a magically originated guy.

"Painkillers? Yes. Catch," he threw a small box of them to you, letting it land on your favourite blanket beside you. "There's a water bottle near you...that's about all that, which leads to the question: what movie do you want to watch, then?"

You gulped the medicine down, feeling a little better. "What did you bring?"

His face reddened under his facial hair, listing, "27 Dresses, Crazy Stupid Love, What's Your Number, Love Rosie, The Proposal..." Killian slowly read the titles. You groaned internally at the smoothness of Killian's voice - it could make anything sound hot. At this, you internally debated how to get him to read aloud the phone directory to test the theory. "...so, lass, that's all I brought. Time to choose."

You winced at another wave of pain, reaching for the ice cream. Tough choice. But you had to make one, "Uh, What's Your Number. Please." Hook slid the DVD in and joined you quickly, bringing a spoon for your ice cream. As soon as the movie started, you felt yourself shift, so that you leant more on Killian across the couch.

"So, love," he whispered over the actors on screen, "Two questions. How're you feeling?"

You took a deep breath. Killian's ice cream had done well to soothe your pains. "Much better since you're here, Jones," you smiled up at him. "Thank you. I don't know what I would've done without you."

You sensed his infectious smile, followed by a throaty laugh. "Ah, ______, you've gotten along just fine every other time without me here," he reasoned.

"Yeah, but that's the point. I didn't have you."

At this, the signature song for the movie company filled the speakers, and Killian asked, "Second question now. What is this movie about?"

On screen the characters were going about doing their lives, making no sense to Killian. Just then, the protagonist Ally Darling had caught sight of her neighbour wearing nothing but a tea-towel over his privates, and motioning to it, you explained, "It's about finding love where you thought it wouldn't be found."

Killian raised his eyebrows, looking away from the screen, "...and people watch these kinds of things? Why not go out and find their love themselves instead of watching it?"

You rolled your eyes, aware of the cramps that had decided to remind you they were in fact still there. "Hush, I'm trying to watch."

An hour or so later, the pair of you stretched out. "I'm glad those two got together in the end," Killian commented, moving to change the DVD, "I liked the pizza delivery bicycle part."

"Same, but not as much as the basketball part," You yawned, and stretching, winced. "Ugh, it still hurts," you moaned, curling up. "Killian, could you make a hot water bottle please? They're in the linen cupboard..."

"It would be my honour, my princess," He ruffled your hair affectionately, and kissed the crown of your head.

You whimpered. "But I'm not a princess. Back in the -," you gasped at a shooting pain that the painkillers hadn't quelled, and closed your eyes, "- Enchanted Forest I was just a peasant, I was a painter's daughter -,"

You heard the click of a kettle after it finished boiling, "A very beautiful painter's daughter who somehow made it to see the ships come in to dock one day even though her town was landlocked. Don't tell me you forgot that!"

"No," you murmured, remembering the first time you saw Killian, wearing his black leather with a wicked smile that had seen more adventure than even your father's paintings had. You had been spellbound by him. And when you had taken to the inn for a meal and a bed, he'd tried to get into yours - unsuccessfully. 

"You refused me! Me, the captain of the Jolly Roger, the pirate ship. That was the first time I couldn't win over a beautiful woman like yourself."

You opened an eye to question him if it was really that case, but you interrupted your train of thought when you saw the hot water bottle and your boyfriend Killian Jones the kind pirate.

"Do you want the hot water bottle just on your -," he questioned.

Sticking a hand out, you slid the bottle from his hands and onto your aching belly. "Thank you so much, Killian. I'm sorry, you probably don't want to be here, there's most likely a quest going on if you want to follow David and Mary-Margaret in a noble cause -,"

Moving the hair from your face, Killian stopped your words with a soft kiss. "Darling, seeing you in that inn after you refused me led me to court the most strong and intelligent woman I've ever known. And I've ever since then, I know, that if you're in danger or need me, I'll stay by you. And I will help you through it." He wet his lips, searching your eyes, "Lass, I won't let you go ever again. Not after that curse separated us."

You wanted to cry, that speech was so sentimental. You didn't know what to say, so instead, you leant up slightly and took his breath away with a kiss.

"Uh, ______," he groaned, separating for a breath, "Have I ever managed to tell you I love you?"

You pecked him again, this time, bringing him down toward the couch, "I think so...quite often. And I never forget it."

He laughed, and pulling away slightly, gestured to the DVD pile. "Now, which one next?"

"Love Rosie!" You chirped, a smile taking up all of your face. Just before Killian went to move, you grabbed his collar and kissed his lips square on. "God, I love you."

"I know," he grinned at his Han Solo reference.

A pillow flew by his head. "Just play the movie!"

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any requests, find me on Tumblr at @susiephalange, or [@phalangewrites](https://phalangewrites.tumblr.com/request_conditions) ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ✿


End file.
